


pretend

by lovethevoid



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, M/M, Masturbation, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 06:20:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17823515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethevoid/pseuds/lovethevoid
Summary: Still, it was all too easy to imagine Luis.





	pretend

Luis had never touched him.

Not like this, at least - but it was easy to pretend when his head was fuzzy with desperate arousal, two spit-slick fingers already inside of him and a tight grip around his cock, jerking hard and fast, palm dry. It's easy when it's late and he's crammed into his bunk, doing whatever he can to get off. He's not sure when his fantasies turned to focus on Luis, and he was apt to be embarrassed by it if he thought about it too long before or afterwards. Remington spent most nights desperate for contact; not always sexual, but most of the time it was. Sometimes, Austin would pity him, kiss him until he can't breathe, give him a quick hand job under the covers. 

It's okay. Austin's long, pale fingers wrapped around him is always enough to make him cum, but Austin can't give him what he needs, not really. Remington's also not sure when he became so desperate to be controlled, told what to do and punished if he disobeyed. He never told Austin, but he figured Austin wouldn't entertain that part of Remington. It was better off that way, those things locked deep within Remington's mind.

Still, it was all too easy to imagine Luis. Remington had grown accustomed to faceless figures in his fantasies, usually men who would fuck him until he wouldn't be able to sit the next day, but Luis was the first face he'd ever put to it. Luis, who's handsome and strong, so quiet and funny when he wanted to be. Luis could hold him down so easily, press a hand to his throat, make him choke.

Remington gasps softly at the thought, letting go of his cock to rest a hand against the column of his own throat. He presses the heel of his palm down cautiously, cutting himself off from oxygen until he's lightheaded. The fingers inside of himself press deeper, curling slightly, and Remington has to bite his lip to keep himself from crying out. He misses being able to get off as loud as he wants, being unconcerned about someone overhearing, but it's impossible in the bus. He eases up and takes shallow breaths, his heart racing in his chest from the thrill of it.

He never had the self-restraint to edge himself, no matter how hard he tried. Tonight wasn't an exception, but he was a little proud of how long he was holding up, considering the way he was fingering himself. He brushes his fingertips across the head of his cock, his hips jumping at the contact, needy. His eyes slip close and he can almost imagine Luis beside him in the too-small bunk, sharing hot breaths and sloppy kisses, Luis jerking him off. Giving blowjobs in confined spaces was difficult, but Remington would be beyond willing to try for Luis. Maybe Luis would cum on his face, maybe down his throat - he whines softly at the thought, tightening his grip a little more around himself.

Remington was pretty certain Luis didn't even like men, not in that way. If he did, he never said so, which put a damper on things. Remington was too much of a coward to bring it up, anyway. He lets out a shaky sigh, his mind wandering, settling on the image of Luis fucking him hard and fast. It'd hurt, and Remington arches his back, shoving his fingers deeper inside of himself before pulling them nearly all the way out and back in. He effectively fucks himself on his own fingers for awhile, wishing it was a cock stretching him, wishing it was Luis in him. He wouldn't even mind if Luis finished inside, the way it'd drip out of him when Luis would pull out, warm and thick on the backs of his thighs.

Remington can feel it, the familiarity of it, the hot pull in his lower abdomen. He squeals Luis's name when he comes, spilling over his own hand, clenching tight around his fingers. All he can hear is the blood rushing in his own ears and his heavy breathing, trying to calm himself down, trembling. His face feels warm, and he knows he was too loud, knows he clearly said Luis's name. His heart's still hammering in his chest for a different reason now, scared that someone heard him. The bus lurches underneath him and he holds his breath, listening for any signs that anyone was awake.

He knows he needs to get up and wash his hands but he's dreading the thought. Sebastian was probably up and would give him shit, or Austin would be around, giving him that knowing smile. Remington spends a moment hyping himself up, adjusting his pants so he wasn't dick out on the bus, before pulling the curtain to his bunk back. The bus is dark and he has no idea what time it is as he slips out of the tiny area, making his way to the bathroom, praying it was empty.

He shuts the door and turns the light on, squinting at the sudden brightness. He washes his hands, stares at himself in the mirror. His lips are swollen from being bitten too hard, and there's red welts on his neck from how hard he gripped his throat. He looks fucked-out and used, messy, tired. He turns away from his reflection, drying his hands and shutting the light off before he leaves the room. His eyes are unadjusted to the dark again, and he stumbles through the hall, trying to make his way back to his bunk.

He thinks he's nearly there when he bumps into something. He grips it hard, and it's definitely a person, but it doesn't feel like either of his brothers. Daniel, maybe? Or -

"Remi?" Luis whispers, resting a hand on Remington's arm. "Hey, did you call for me? Just like a few minutes ago?" 

Remington's stomach dropped, his face burning. He'd never been more thankful for the dark than he was right now. "I - no? I don't think so." He lied, letting go of Luis's shirt. He couldn't really make Luis's face out, his expression a completed mystery. It made Remington a little nervous.

"Oh. I thought I heard your voice. You sounded kinda like you were hurt or something." He said, and Remington felt him shrug. "Figured I'd check on you."

"That's sweet of you." Remington says, disarmingly honest. Luis's hand his still on his arm, warm and grounding. Remington's trying not to be hyper-aware of it. "I'm okay." He adds, and it's not exactly true.

"Okay." Luis answers, and Remington can hear the smile in his voice. "Cool. I'm glad."

Remington can't help but smile back. He nearly giggles but stops himself in time. "Thank you, though." He says, and Luis laughs softly. Remington's heart swoops. "Uh, goodnight? Love you." He adds, then freezes. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

If Luis thinks it's strange, he doesn't show it physically. "Love you too, Remi. Sleep well." He replies, barely above a whisper. Remington's barely coping when he feels warmth against his forehead: a soft kiss from Luis, gone as fast as it came. Remington's shaking as Luis walks away, back to the main room to keep editing. Remington wants to follow, tell Luis to really kiss him, but he figures they've taken enough big steps for the night.

Remington gets back into his bunk and falls asleep, still feeling the ghost of Luis's lips against his skin.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at 7am i don't know


End file.
